I’ve had seven pregnancies, and five live births — and I can honestly say, it’s been a journey and a half. There were a lot of learning curves, especially in the areas of fitness, nutrition, and mindset.
In a world where social media sets unrealistic norms and “bounceback culture” clouds the pregnancy and postpartum experience, it’s no wonder so many women feel lost.
In this post, I’m sharing how my habits evolved across all my pregnancies — with the hope of giving you a shortcut to where I am now, without the guesswork, trial and error, sadness, and setbacks I went through.
Here’s to the gold nuggets you might take away from this post — and to a gentler, wiser path forward.
Quick note before we dive in:
This post is based on my personal experiences. It’s not medical advice. Please make sure to consult your healthcare provider before beginning or changing any fitness, nutrition, or wellness habits during pregnancy.
I didn’t always know how to take care of myself—mentally, physically, or emotionally. In fact, for a long time, I believed that if I could just have enough money to afford a gym membership, or find the right plan or push myself harder, everything would fall into place.
It took five pregnancies to finally realize that health and fitness aren’t about perfection, pressure, or rigid plans. They’re about awareness, small consistent choices, and a willingness to keep going even when life is messy.
If you’re feeling like you can’t quite get it together or like you’re always falling off the wagon, I hope my story helps you see that forward progress—at any stage, on any budget—is not only possible but powerful.
Early Pregnancies: Surviving (Barely)
Stress Was My Constant Companion
Looking back at my first two pregnancies, I wasn’t really thinking about fitness or nutrition at all. Most days, it was more like, “How do I just get through today?” I was often stressed, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. Instead of managing the stress, I was reacting to it — getting frustrated, picking fights, and pushing people away. Not exactly the recipe for a peaceful, healthy pregnancy. Honestly, I didn’t know how to cope with stress in a healthy way at all. And that stress bled into everything: my habits, my relationships, and how I treated myself.
Yo-Yo Fitness and Nutrition
When I did try to focus on fitness or nutrition, I was all over the place. I’d be super motivated for a few days, then fall off completely. It was always an all-or-nothing mentality. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I’d just quit and feel terrible about it. The worst part? I didn’t realize how much small progress would have been so much more helpful than going from one extreme to the other.
Real-Life Constraints Were Hard
At the time, we were living on a tighter budget, which made it tough to prioritize things like fresh food or a gym membership. But, honestly, I could have made better choices within those constraints. I didn’t know it then, but looking back, I see that I could’ve made healthier choices with what I had. It’s a powerful reminder that access to resources doesn’t always mean success — it’s the mindset and consistency that would have made the difference. After all, a consistent 75-80% would have yielded better results than a sporadic 99%.
Middle Pregnancies: Trying to Get It Together
More Structure, Still Too Rigid
By my third and fourth pregnancies, I started getting more organized with routines. I was pretty consistent with workouts, meal planning, and self-care. Having more structure helped, but I was still so rigid. If I missed a workout or didn’t eat perfectly, I’d feel like I had failed, and I’d want to punishment myself. The only reason I didn’t was because I was pregnant and didn’t want to compromise my sons. It wasn’t healthy, nor did it lend well to my ability to make forward progress, big or small.
I was getting better at managing things, but the pressure to do everything right was still there. I kept thinking if I didn’t do it perfectly, it wasn’t worth doing at all.
Shiny Object Syndrome Strikes
I also fell into what would be called “shiny object syndrome.” Every new fitness program felt like the answer — until it wasn’t. If something didn’t work right away, I’d jump to the next thing. And let me tell you, that got exhausting. I wasn’t giving myself enough time to actually see progress. I was always jumping from one thing to another, and I was constantly burning out.
Real-Life Constraints Were Still Real
By this time, we were a little more stable financially, but I still had limited time and energy. At this point, I was thinking that some people are just born with so much energy and focus, and I just wasn’t one of those people. Man, was I mistaken. The truth is, I could have found ways to make progress with less. Again, 75-80% consistently beats a sporadic 99%. But I just wasn’t thinking that way yet. My mindset was still tied to perfection instead of small, sustainable habits.
Fifth Pregnancy: Finally Getting It Right
Mindset Shift: Grace Over Perfection
By the time I was pregnant with my fifth baby, I finally had the epiphany:
It wasn’t about perfection.
It wasn’t about doing everything exactly right.
It was about progress, no matter how small.
I realized that stressing over every little thing wasn’t helping me — it was making everything harder, and I mean EVERYTHING; taking proper care of myself, being a loving wife, being a patient and understanding mother, caring for my home, etc. So I shifted my mindset. Instead of trying to do all the things perfectly, I just did a thing or two (or five) every day, even if it wasn’t much.
Fitness Was Simple, Not Perfect
I didn’t worry about doing crazy, intense workouts. I focused on keeping my body strong and mobile with simple movements. It wasn’t sexy or cutting-edge, but it did the job well. I also stopped obsessing over food and allowed myself to eat what nourished me physically or mentally/emotionally, and even both! And I did so without guilt. One more time, 75-80% consistently over 99% sporadically.
Progress, Not Perfection
By focusing on what I could do — not what I couldn’t — I was able to move forward without that overwhelming feeling of “failure” when things didn’t go according to plan. Giving myself that grace, choosing not to punish myself over missing a workout or not eating protein at every single meal, and understanding that I can just start again the next day allowed me peace of mind and consistent progress.
It was also about thinking long-term. I didn’t want to just survive pregnancy. I wanted to come out of it feeling stronger, more balanced, and ready for the postpartum journey. And every small step — no matter how simple — was a step in the right direction.
Access and Resources Were Better, But It Was the Approach That Made the Difference
Yes, by my fifth pregnancy, our resources had improved. But I realized that even in the earlier pregnancies, I could’ve made progress with what I had. It was never about access — it was about approach and mindset. You don’t need fancy equipment or a perfect situation to build healthier habits.
Final Thoughts: Progress Over Perfection
Looking back at pregnancy #5, it wasn’t perfect — and I didn’t need it to be. What made it better was how I approached it.
If you’re pregnant right now or planning to be, here’s what I want you to know:
You don’t need to follow a perfect plan to be healthy.
You don’t need the “ideal” circumstances.
And you don’t need to do it exactly like anyone else.
You just need to meet yourself where you are, take small steps, and give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.
Better isn’t about doing it all — it’s about progress, even if it’s just a little bit at a time.
You’ve got this. 💛
*I’d love to hear your story. What’s one thing you wish someone had told you about pregnancy, fitness, or mindset? Drop a comment below — let’s create a space where real experiences are celebrated.
And if you’re craving more grounded support during pregnancy, postpartum, or motherhood (without the pressure or perfectionism), stay tuned — I’ll be sharing more soon about ways we can work together.*
hi
Hello
It’s inspiring to see how your perspective on health and fitness evolved through your pregnancies. It’s true that perfection isn’t the goal, but consistency and awareness are. I can relate to the struggle of feeling like you’re always falling off the wagon, but your story shows that progress is possible even in small steps. It’s interesting how stress can seep into every aspect of life, and it’s great that you’ve learned healthier ways to manage it. I wonder, though, how you managed to shift your mindset from being so rigid to embracing flexibility? Also, do you think your approach would have been different if you had more resources earlier on? Your journey is a reminder that it’s not about having everything, but making the most of what you have. What advice would you give to someone who’s just starting to prioritize their health during pregnancy?
Hello there!
First, thanks so much for commenting! As a tiny blog, I deeply appreciate it.
To answer your first question, how did I manage to shift my mindset? Honestly, my husband and I knew we wanted lots of kids. We also understood that as a tradesman, he was going to be gone a lot (they must go where the jobs are). Over time, other things became more of a priority than how I looked. Taking good care of my family, my home, etc. But, I love working out and eating well, and I also know that getting proper, appropriate movement and nutrition would help me take care of my family. My mindset shifted when I saw that these habits and routines were essential to allowing me to be a better mother and wife.
I want to believe that, if I had more resources, I might have had more education much sooner. Everything I previously mentioned took almost 10 years to figure out on my own (with the help of Google, that is, lol). If I was able to hire a coach or a mentor or something, that might’ve sped up my progress in coming to the point I’m at now. Also, people are more likely to do things if they are more convenient. I have found that many people who are, say, unable to gain access to a gym, or can only afford cheaper food, are less likely to find other ways to attain similar goals. So yes, resources do matter, but there needs to be an effort to work with what you have if you want to achieve a certain goal, which is why I mentioned it in the post.
Finally, if you (or a friend/loved one) are just starting your health/fitness journey during pregnancy (assuming we are talking about a healthy, low risk, uncomplicated pregnancy; if not, please talk to your provider first to get medical guidance), here are some actionable steps that you can do pretty much right now: walk every day, be sure that you are eating an appropriate amount of protein, and, since you’re pregnant, proper hydration.
For walking, I suggest you wear a pedometer or check your smart watch (if you have one) and just do normal activities for a week or so. Check your average steps per day for that week, and next week, add 100-200 steps to your step goal. Steps generally equate to movement. Protein is important in general, but it will help maintain muscle mass and supply you with some vitamins and micronutrients that are important for pregnancy. If possible, I’d add some fruits and vegetables too. And then proper hydration. I’d recommend around half your prepregnancy weight in ounces PLUS 24-32 ounces, depending on activity and weather temperature. Amniotic fluid, increased blood volume, metabolism, baby’s needs, all these need the extra hydration. It doesn’t HAVE to all be water (though water is generally best for more hydration). It can be coffee, milk, tea, etc.
When you’re ready, you could add in some light weight training. Aim for lower impact training. An easy approach is to just find one exercise for each of these categories: push, pull, hinge, squat and carry/core/rotation.
I really hope this helps. Feel free to ask any other questions you might have! I’m more than happy to help.
Jess